A series from the inside for congregations

I am aware that pastors and deacons have a unique perspective on church life and religion that many of our parishoners never get to hear about. Mostly that is becuase when there is an issue rising up, it is not the time to teach, as much as it is time to support and guide. It has occurred to me more than once that it is difficult to educate people in the middle of a crisis point or big learning curve. These are adults and correction in the middle of a bumble has all kinds of mixed emotions and responses. In fact, some of these issues that congregations face can be call or career ending for pastors; burnout from the drama leads us to walk from the cloth. And we are already in a higher than normal burn out phase for clergy

The things I aim to write about are meant to help keep clergy in the role they not only love, but often also make sacrifices to remain in. They should not lose their kids, marriage, sobriety, sense of self, or life for the daily service to a congregation. That is not what Jesus meant when he asked us to pick up our cross. (another post). Congregations should not lose a great pastor because they weren’t aware of healthy practices or problems that they often cannot see from their perspective.
This series will be on topics that educate all of us.

My friend Suzannah once said, “I am so angry that we don’t get told ANY of this as a congregation member! We don’t want to be ignorant about these things!”

Let me give you one example: In your profession, is it ok to comment on your spouse working outside the home or your boss wondering if you are having money troubles because your spouse works, too? No? Well it isn’t in clergy life either. What your pastor and their spouse do with their money is no one else’s business any more than it is your boss’s business what you do with your money or how much you make as a couple.

But in clergy life we experience this all the time! And it is not okay. In fact, it is, in some states, illegal. In addition, I hear from far too many women clergy about how they are expected to take a lower salary than a man in the same position since their husband also works. Or, the congregation is upset that they did not get both a clergy person and their spouse (as a free volunteer) for the price of one clergy salary. This happens far more often to women clergy than men, but it does happen to both. These are unreasonable expectations of a spouse- what they make, if they work, and if they even want to be involved in the other person’s work life is up to them, or at the very least to the couple. It does not reflect on the quality of the pastor and more often than not can be a healthy boundary for their marriage if their work and life together are not so interwoven. (That is another post.)

Reasonable pay for the work performed, let alone the education required to do so, is not based on a spouse, children, or other income sources. If you don’t want your pay determined by whether or not you have a spouse, then why would you expect a pastor to accept that? This is their profession. But when clergy speak up in the moment they are seen as combative, sensitive, unwelcoming, closed off, etc. It is almost as if the congregation believes they actually own the rights to a pastor’s personal life, regardless of how much they are paid. Nothing could be further from the truth. Clergy are servants, but they are also sacred and independent persons. A call to a congregation does not mean surrender of health or personhood, but a call to bring the personhood to serve in that space.

I hope you see my point, there are things we need to talk about, and your pastor cannot talk about these themself. In fact, they may not even be safe sharing this post. So it falls on you, the congregant or community member to share it and to educate one another. And with no congregation to offend or take it personally even if it has nothing to do with them, I am able to write about these issues.
The posts will take the form of “UtAC-Topic Name,” stating an issue, why it needs addressed, how we can do differently, and suggested ways to discuss this as community or with your clergy.
Feel free to comment or email me with suggested topics.

*Suggested topics for a healthy conversation around clergy pay and family life:

• As a call/search committee or a mutual ministry team, educate yourself on state laws protecting an employee’s personal life information. You can normally find these on your state labor board website. Pastors are employees according to the IRS so you are bound by those laws which protect them.
• Educate the council YEARLY on the compensation as well as HR matters. Advocate verbally for your pastor throughout the year when their time, personal life, or compensation come up.
• Take time to educate the congregation. This should happen before any new pastor is called, in fact, before they are interviewed! Your synod is very happy to share with you the MINIMUM guidelines and the recommendations around those to set a fair and just compensation package. They can point you to an HR person to have an annual training for your whole team on employee care and rights.
• Before interviews or annual reviews, remind the team what is appropriate to ask about or evaluate and what is NOT.
• Support your clergy in their choices to keep their personal life personal.
• Ask them if their pay is commensurate for the work they are expected to do (synod guidelines) and then, no matter the answer, ask them if they wished something were different in regards to expectations, hours, or compensation. Then share that information on their behalf (with permission) to the council and help advocate for them.