Yesterday the office administrator interrupted me.  “Notre Dame is one fire,” she said in almost a whisper.  Being the wife of a college football fanatic, my first response was, “the college or the cathedral?”

People around the world have flooded social media over this ancient, sacred space burning.  There is palpable grief from all sectors- whether people have been there or not.

Here is the thing.  You don’t have to be Christian, Catholic (a version of Christianity) French, Parisian, (etc) to mourn this loss.

It is a loss to every historian, ever.  It holds 856 years of human story- from birth to death and all the intrigue between. (Imagine alone the confessions received there!) 

It is a loss to every artist, ever.  This was the crowning jewel of gothic architecture for the world- and it was built without cranes or buzzsaws or electricity for that fact.  The artisan work in painting, stained glass, stonework, carpentry and more was a feat of human accomplishment. It would be like the Taj Mahal burning- a loss to the world of art and beauty.

It is a loss to Paris, France, and Europe.  As a defining element of the city of Paris and of the country of France, it was also THE most visited site in all of Europe.   It was a cultural and geographical loss.

It is a loss to a group of believers during the most sacred week of the year (Holy Week).  For nearly a thousand years, they have gathered for Maundy Thursday foot washing and communion, for Good Friday grieving and last words of Christ, for Vigils that wait in the darkness only to discover at first light that the tomb was empty and Christ had risen, and then Easter Sunday celebration. And now, two days before this sacred time begins, their space is no more.

It is a loss for those who dreamt of world travel- listing this as a destination and that possibility is no longer.  It changes the dream and snuffs a chance.  That is worthy of grief, too.

And then there is this:  If we feel this way, for whatever reason, imagine how many other communities of faith have felt this and more.  This was an accident.  A terribly expensive and painful one.  Imagine if it had been intentional.  Imagine if it had come out of hate.  And then recall how many religious communities have been fighting to have their grief and space acknowledged in similar circumstances.

A simple chapel in the Deep South of the United States is equally sacred.  There was no less effort by human hands in building it- days of labor and sweat poured out to craft a sacred space.

An open space that has been the natural altar of faith for indigenous people, cared for lovingly for hundreds or even thousands of years to maintain it’s natural beauty for the moments of sacred worship that happen there being dismissed for the need of oil.  Once that oil spills even ONE time, it is like telling Notre Dame grievers that it can be rebuilt.  No it cannot.  It cannot even be replicated.  It can be built again, but it will never be the same.

A Mosque, once bloodied by murder cannot be washed clean. Not really.  The memories remain.  It forever taints the experience in that space.  For a thousand years it will change it. Trust me- I have wandered the great cathedrals of Europe and the stories of places remain and send chills and sorrow.

Each of these is valid and worthy of grief.  EVERY ONE.  We cannot and should not put limits on any other human’s grief.  It is abusive to tell someone else how to feel- because feelings are OURS and no one else gets to control them.

The only place for shame here is if we feel the grief and then do not take a moment in time to consider how this bonds humanity together- that there is shared experience in this pain of sacred spaces (for whatever reason, art, religion, history, etc) being destroyed.  The shame will be if we do not have compassion for each other in the moment and realize that others of different faiths feel/felt like this, too. The shame will be if we do not realize that a bastion of Christian colonization burning is not a sad thing for some people and the subsequent feeling of being diminished is what many of other faiths and ethnic backgrounds experience every day.  The shame will be if we refuse to acknowledge that just because we do not relate, it does not invalidate the other person or their experience.

What if the fire had been Notre Dame University? My husband would be in deep grief.  Over football.  For me that is unfathomable.  A waste of time most days.  But it is his, and it is important for him.  And I can see and acknowledge the other grief around an institution that affected so many lives being destroyed.  It has nothing to do with whether I can relate or have a vested interest.  Sacred spaces are sacred spaces.  When they are destroyed, by accident, by nature, or by hate, we all lose.  And that is worth grieving.